random thoughts turned into scribbles #4

Listening to other people complain always makes me see things in perspective. It also makes me realize what a pain I must be in many situations. The plane is about four hours delayed. I have been walking around the airport for almost six hours. Being a time pessimist is a blast.

Being convinced that flight delays is a secret plan to make people spend money at the airport I try to resist and stick to my ten pound voucher. I also convince myself that if I manage to only buy vegan food here right now, I save the world - just a little bit. After a while I get so insanely bored that I buy two books I want to read and a vaguely fancy box of chocolate to give to my family when I get home. 

There is absolutely no air on the plane and the pilot announces that the gate is stuck to the plane. Almost everyone starts to complain, someone starts to laugh. I take a deep breath and think that I'm missing more of the little time I was supposed to get with my sister and nephew. 

Two young women are loudly saying that they'll never choose this airline again. In front of me a woman is in complete panic, scared of flying. The staff takes turns talking to her with kind eyes, telling her she's safe, bring her water and one of them offers to sit with her during the entire flight.

There is a dad sitting with his little girl who must be around two years old. He looks so tired but plays with her so she won't cry. She's completely wild and plays with his hair while he walks back and forth most of the flight. They are so adorable my heart breaks a little bit thinking that they have been at the airport for so many hours. 

Everyone gets free coffee, tea or water. The two loud women are saying that this is 'the worst day ever' and I wonder if they've ever experienced anything resembling real struggle or pain in their lives. 

On the train from Copenhagen a mother curls up with her two little ones to make room for another family's kids. I think that there are kind, wonderful people in this world if you just choose to look for them. Something I am not always great at.

Travel-ready back in my living room in Brighton

random thoughts turned into scribbles #3

Me, Maria & Megan are sat on the ping pong table in the park. It's dark but I can just about see their faces. We're drinking and exchanging stories we haven't told each other yet. We talk about love and all agree that we'd rather be heartbroken than the heartbreaker. I am so fond of these two girls - it's insane & I never want to leave this town. Every night should be like this.

After sitting on ping pong table they obviously found a christmas tree. 

random thoughts turned into scribbles #2

I have this new plan to embrace everything around me and accept that things are the way they are. One of those things is that I feel things very deeply. I have always thought that I have a problem letting things go - but maybe I just need to accept the fact that this is the way it is.

Is it insane that I fell for a man the moment I saw him in the door of a pub? (Like, genuinely could not breathe the moment he walked in, haha) Probably. But it's true, it's real - it's what happened to me. Regardless of what he felt, it does not make me insane or crazy. (which I thought for a long time) I don't know how to get over this, maybe I won't until I fall for someone else. The truth is that if I'm not in love - happily or otherwise - I'm bored. So I'm just going to feel this. And miss him until I just don't anymore. 

& instead of being ashamed or feeling like a ridiculous little child having her first crush, I am trying to be happy. Happy that I am able to feel this way about another person. 

I will admit that I am a hopeless freakin' romantic after all. Another thing I really thought was a problem for so many years.

random thoughts turned into scribbles #1

Today I felt beautiful even though I've been exhausted, am on my period and sweating through my grey t-shirt. I walked home without music in my ears (which I rarely do) and dreamt about living in the houses with big windows and gardens by queen's park. I think I have possibly fallen in love with Brighton all over again just because I know I'll be leaving for a few weeks in just three days. 

I spent the afternoon with Maria by the sea talking about anything from the shapes rocks have, to unicorns and mermaids. I always feel inspired and excited about life after spending time with her. Maybe that's why I can walk home listening to my own thoughts instead of that same song I've played on repeat the past week.